paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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