Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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