plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
