i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
