I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
