oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
