If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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