Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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