just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
