carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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