So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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