i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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