maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The air taste purple.
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