420 ftw
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
