HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
