Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
