I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
