i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
