even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
