So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Randomize
