She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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