I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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