You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
