I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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