Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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