I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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