This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so let's talk penis.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
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