who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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