VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
