I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
