doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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