It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
