Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
