im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My pussy is not your playground.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
