So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
