just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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