so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
