people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
