I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
