I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
