just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I look better un-naked...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
