Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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