but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
