New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
