I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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