i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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