You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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