We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
