i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
