Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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