when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
